For the past two weeks I have been fulfilling one of life’s important civic duties; jury service.
What a funny thing it is. A system based entirely on random selection of strangers, who are then charged with administering justice. Far be it from me to criticise our legal system but my first impression of the whole thing was that it was absolutely bloody ludicrous.
For a whole week I didn’t do anything at all. I sat in a waiting room, I read books, I caught up with Location, Location, Location. My company included 100 other people and an empty vending machine. There were no cups for water, it was bloody freezing, the toilets smelled – in short it was a pretty unpleasant experience.
By the second week I had been called as a juror on a sexual assault case and I was dreading it. What do I know about the law around sexual assault or the legal system in general? Nothing. What on earth makes me qualified to administer justice or condemn someone to a custodial sentence – nothing. And yet here I was charged with doing just that. I found it such a crazy approach, and yet I suppose that is what some would say makes the jury system a good one.
I found the whole process incredibly difficult. It was emotionally draining. I was constantly aware of the need to be impartial, to let go of any preconceptions I may have had, and to try at every stage to view things on face value.
I squirmed when the defence cross examined the woman who had made the allegation. Their attempt to discredit her validity as a witness made me angry – she was drunk, she was irresponsible, she couldn’t really remember what had happened, could she? And I sat there and wondered how many women and men have been forced to face this horrible experience, feeling doubly violated by someone who had taken advantage of them, and a justice system which seemingly now failed to support them. Is it any wonder that so many rapes and sexual assaults go unreported when this is how the justice system treated those making an accusation?
And yet I felt similar feelings when the defendant took the stand. A man who struggled to speak English, he was unfamiliar with our culture and legal system and very clearly found the whole process difficult. I’m not ashamed to say that I felt sorry for him. How could you not? He appeared downtrodden and upset and I am only human after all. Yet, that feeling later changed to anger when he admitted that a woman had refused his advances and yet he continued to touch her without her permission.
I was dreading deliberation. So much so that the night before I took myself off to the pub alone in an attempt to collect my thoughts. How was I supposed to decide who was telling the truth? Yes, there was evidence but none of it was clear cut and all of it open to interpretation.
And yet, deliberation was actually the better part of the whole week. Sat with 11 other people it became apparent to me that I wasn’t the only person wrestling with these emotions. I had rather unfairly believed that I was alone in feeling such a burden of responsibility, and yet it was plain to see that everyone else in that room was taking this case, and their role in it, so incredibly seriously. They wanted to be fair, they wanted to be accurate, and we all wanted to do the right thing.
We deliberated, we debated. We had fair and open discussion. At times we disagreed but nobody was made to feel as though their opinion was not worth considering. It was actually quite a shock to me that what appeared initially to be such a flawed system actually allowed 12 total strangers to consider a very serious accusation in depth, with great consideration.
In the end we agreed on a guilty verdict. That was hard. But someone is always going to lose out, either the alleged victim or the alleged perpetrator. Our justice system had furnished us with information, and we as citizens were instructed by the judge to draw ‘common sense conclusions’ as to what happened on the night in question.
I don’t think I have found anything else quite so emotionally draining, and I would not wish to hurry back to jury service. But I hope that everyone who undertakes the role approaches it with the commitment and respect that was shown by my fellow jurors. It is not an easy job, but it was an important one, and I am grateful to have played my part.
Politics on the side 